The Continuing Evil of People

So right now I’m on the company bus on my way to work. The bus is full, hence I have to sit next to someone. This someone seems totally incapable of keeping his arms or legs within his half of the row. Add to this that he smells, possibly doesn’t bathe and surely doesn’t launder his clothes regularly. For the entire journey he has watched anime on his MacBook Pro, and occasionally passed wind.

Big, dirty, lazy, smelly and rude. I’m considering whether I even like people.

Parler, Parler, Parler

So right now, at this very moment, i’m sat on a horribly crowded shuttle home from work. There is not a single seat left on the entire bus. This deplorable state of affairs has led to what I consider to be two intolerable but unavoidable consequences:

  1. I’m sitting backwards. I hate this. I really can’t emphasize enough how much I despise sitting backwards on the bus. The seat doesn’t recline, every acceleration pushes you toward the table, while each deceleration slams you back into the chair. Everything is going in the wrong direction. There is zero leg room and my knees keep rubbing against the passenger opposite. It’s inhuman.

  2. The people opposite me are French.

Do you feel my pain dear reader? Here but for the grace of god go you.

Ode to Isolation

As I sit on a baby bullet caltrain, weak coffee coating my throat and the suspicion, if not the reality of sticky seats plaguing my mind, I realize how grateful I am for you my little noise cancelling earphones. Were it not for you I’d be forced to listen to the screeches that must undoubtedly be emmenating from the twisted and contorted face that is yelling into a phone just meters in front of me. Instead The Hidden Cameras are holding a gig and dancing a jig in my tired and confused skull, just for me, all private and stuff. So here’s to you my now waxy little friends, I owe you one.